in life, i usually trust new people, at least on face value, until i discover otherwise.
yet, my normal belief system is now in doubt.
i've just replied to a thread started by 'goldensky' - an alleged spanish lady with lots of history as an extremely devout jw in spain.
Farkel and AK-Jeff crack me up I'm so paranoid I remove my webcam from my computer unless I am actually using it ;) I'm not worried about elders...just that people will accidentally see me running around in Jammies.
Thanks yellow. That's exactly my point. There seems to be someone on each post that can relate to something I've felt or am feeling!
~fmy
in life, i usually trust new people, at least on face value, until i discover otherwise.
yet, my normal belief system is now in doubt.
i've just replied to a thread started by 'goldensky' - an alleged spanish lady with lots of history as an extremely devout jw in spain.
From a "Newbie" perspective, for me it feels good to be able to share all these wacky little things in my life that people who didn't experience being in the organization might understand and relate to. Maybe some have similar experiences...
I've waited a long time to be able to talk to people who relate about these things. I've tried talking to non-never-witnesses and even counselors who would like to understand but they don't. I usually get the response "You've been through some crazy stuff". Usually my mind is sort of boggled for a moment because I didn't think it was all that crazy always. Then I realize just how crazy, something as "simple" as having your name annouced in front of a lot of people as disfellowshipped is sort of crazy while you sit in the back by yourself and watch everyone shake their head in sadness. People are on here to share and get feedback. Don't hinder them by accusing them of making stuff up.
Most everyone I've had responses from have been really friendly and supportive and I've felt already that I can be of some support to others on here. It's a great feeling and maybe I'll post less as time goes on, but for now it feels like I've been given a great new toy to play with and I can't put it down. I'm on this site every day the last few days.
If there are people on here making up stories, oh well, I guess. Why waste their time? I'm not sure what that would accomplish.
~fmy
dear all,.
i discovered this site only a couple of weeks ago and i already feel affection for you.. i am a 48-year-old woman and i live in spain, where i was born and raised, so i apologize in advance for my inevitable lack of style and possible grammar mistakes, due to english not being my native tongue.. i grew up in the truth and jehovah and the congregation have filled my whole life.
i've had little contact with the outside world.
Nice to meet you Goldensky. Your words are much more eloquent than mine.
English is my first and only language, but I'm American so you know how that can be
I wish you the best and I think it's wonderful that you are doing what you feel is right despite the challenges of doing so. I understand how it may make you feel sad to let others down but in time they may come to similar conclusions as you and then they will understand.
I had a brother and a good friend leave before I had seen things for how they really were and I always wondered why. I Cried when I found out my friend had left and I was in a disfellowshipped state! She had been a pioneer and was always such a "good witness". I had strived to be like her and I just couldn't understand her choice and she didn't really explain a lot to me because she didn't want to stumble me. Eventually though, I understood.
Much love,
~fmy
i never really liked beer, but, i got a hankering for one on the way home from work.
i picked up a six pack of foster's (never tried it before) and i must say, it's prettty danged good.
what do you drink?.
I miss beer
I'm pregnant so I haven't had one in 5 months but sometimes I dream of an Ice cold one.
Newcastle, Sam Adams octoberfest.. I'm going to stock up on fall beers and drink them after I have the little one. I love the Pumpkin Ales
btw, Beer and sewing machines are a great combo! You can get "sew" much done and it seems the time is flying!
~fmy
i've recently been thinking about this topic as i've been finding old friends on facebook etc.
that were just gone one day because either their whole family da'd themselves or they had been df'd.
not to mention the friends i lost when i myself was df'd.. most of my life i found this losing of friends normal because it was what i was used to.
I've recently been thinking about this topic as I've been finding old friends on Facebook etc. that were just GONE one day because either their whole family Da'd themselves or they had been Df'd. Not to mention the friends I lost when I myself was df'd.
Most of my life I found this losing of friends normal because it was what I was used to. I've managed to maintain good relationships with non-witnesses for years and it feels great to have friends you can be completely yourself with. At the same time, I find it sort of easy to cut people off if they rub me the wrong way. I think I'm getting better at this, but I once stopped talking to one of my best friends from Junior High for over 6 months, only calling her back and begging for forgiveness after I had been Df'd. I've cut others off similarly when I couldn't handle a dispute. It was really hard the first year of marriage (okay, so maybe a little longer than that.. ;) when I kept wanting to run away and stop talking to him instead of deal with it. Not sure if this has to do with feeling "normal" about severed relationships but I'm exporing the idea.
This could also be from my parents divorce when I was 13... Mom said we were leaving on a Monday. We packed up and moved all the way from Oregon to Kansas that Friday. Maybe your experiences can help me see whats from what circumstance.
How have you found this affected you? others? Have any additional info on this?
Much appreciated,
~fmy
did you notice any young jw sisters in the past that did rush to get married too young and to have a baby right away before the end comes?
did you hear any stories of regret?
i was wondering if the watchtower is to blame for?.
Growing up I just KNEW I would be married by 18 and was really surprised when I wasn't. Like a few people already mentioned, there seemed to be pressure because you knew that all the good brothers were going to be taken if you didn't get married early on. That being said... I did hear a few elders warning younger ones, including me, to be cautious of marrying young.
I was engaged at 19 after a phone relationship with a 24 year old MS that had only been going on for 3 months! I hardly knew the guy but I had elders call his congregation and check him out and hey, he was an MS so I felt safe. I moved all the way to New York from Kansas to be with him and he turned out to be a controlling sex freak and I was in a strange place with no relatives/good friends to run to. It was a disaster that ended in Dfing, but thankfully I never married the guy and thankfully I figured out that the Watchtower wasn't the truth before requesting reinstatement.
I also had a couple friends that had reached 25 or so and seemed SO old at the time to not be married. I'm 25 now and the thought of that makes me laugh.
oh, another interesting story you may not believe... I knew a girl that got married at 18 I think.. she was home schooled and VERY sheltered even for a Witless. I think she married this guy mostly to get out of the house but he was a MS so I'm sure she felt safe. Shortly after she married this guy she became VERY VERY quiet and they started moving around alot. She had always been a slim girl, but she got really heavy and stopped talking with all her friends. Years later she tried to leave him and he SHOT her!!
I'm from the midwest, so that might have something to do with it to..
two detectives walked up to a suspect and he said, "i don't want any.
" they showed him their police bages and he said.
"i thought you were a jehovah.
Interesting.
I didn't see the episode..I watched a french film (God is Great. I am not) though the other night and was surprised to hear comments about witnesses.
It was a film about a girl who was lost and trying out several different religions. Christianity, buddhism, Judaism and her sister said something like "You are all primed for the Jehovah's Witnesses. They seek out lost people like you". The girl said "I would never join a sect!"
ive had doubts for years had my mind opened and over the past year have decided enough is enough.
sick of the lies and double standards no longer believing in what ive been told cant even step into a kingdumb hall i just feel like screaming ive decided to d/a, best decision ive ever made a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders no more pretending to others finally free.
the announcement is being made this week.
thanks for all the welcomes :0)
I tried the whole Yahoo answers thing once and the Dubs were like sharks. It's so much nicer over here!
i wanted to post this as we have so many new ones on the board here - i thought they might benefit from some uplifting words from steve hassan's book " releasing the bonds " .
many newly exiting the jw 's feel lost , like they don't know what to do , or where to turn, what causes that ?
notice these quotes from steve hassan .. on pg.
Thank you Flipper :0)
I've been reading post after post the last few days. I feel like I already know some of you ;) Finally got registered and I'm excited to start making new friends that understand!
I have many friends that weren't raised as witnesses like I was but whenever I have a down day because I have a horrible, now nonexistent relationship with my Mother because of the religion, or I'm feeling confused about how to raise my unborn child now that I have no set in stone "beliefs", it's hard to talk to people who just don't understand as much as they would like to.
I decided less than a year ago to get to the bottom of why I didn't feel motivated to request reinstatment. I went to a counselor, who sort of helped... and I stumbled upon Crisis of Conscience and In search of Christian Freedom right away. I'm still reading the latter ( I took a break because I got pregnant and started reading tons of baby books :) I'll add this new book to my list.
My decision was pretty much made after the first book. Now I'm just going through the "what if I'm wrong?"(I only sometimes feel this way) and the "what in the world do I do now?" phases.
Looking forward to talking with all of you. Nice to meet you.
~FMW
ive had doubts for years had my mind opened and over the past year have decided enough is enough.
sick of the lies and double standards no longer believing in what ive been told cant even step into a kingdumb hall i just feel like screaming ive decided to d/a, best decision ive ever made a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders no more pretending to others finally free.
the announcement is being made this week.
Yellow,
I wasn't Da'd but rather I decided to not attempt to be reinstated after 3 years of being disfellowshipped. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't ready to request reinstatement even though brothers had even hinted to me that I could write a letter at any time. I was lost and last year I finally decided "enough is enough" and I started seriously evaluating my spirituality and doing research of the religion I was raised in. I figured I would get to the bottom of why I was such a bad sinner that deserved disfellowshipping. What I found rather, was that I wasn't so bad after all. I finally allowed myself to feel angry over the whole thing. To aknowledge that I felt abandoned by my so called shepherds. I finally began to believe that I was worthy of God's love and that no man could take that away from me and tell me I wasn't good enough.
It's funny how you can't understand their thinking all of a sudden. I had defended the beliefs up to 3 years after I was disfellowshipped until I realized it just wasn't right. Now I can't imagine how I actually used to think that way too.
When I was disfellowshipped, one of my best friends (or so I thought) wrote me a letter to tell me that she loved me but for now she will have to think of me as dead. This hurt, but silly me thought she was right at the time. I thought I was dead to God, until I figured out a way to fix my evil ways.. which I find not so evil anymore.
I'm glad for you that you already have come to the decision that you have before the shunning. I think it will make your recovery shorter perhaps..
It's hard though, I'm still "finding my way" but from what I've been reading on this site the last few days, I think it's a great place to come share your thoughts and find support.
Happy healing
~fmy
